The Body's Worst Trick Ever

My body's been out of commission from working out for a few weeks. It's been lacking major green nutrients. In short: I've been bad.

My body strikes back. It says, "Yeah? You're ignoring me for weeks. Now all of the sudden you feel like jogging on the ellitpical and I'm supposed to bounce right back into the system for you? Try this, lady:

 I'm going to make you start huffing at 30 seconds instead of 2 minutes.

Now I'm going to make your legs burn at 2.5 minutes instead of 5 minutes.

Now I'm going to make 10 minutes on the elliptical feel like 40 minutes on the elliptical.

That'll teach you for ignoring me for weeks! Had enough yet?! Well, Have You?

Yeah. I thought so.


Um, body, look: I'm very sorry. Truly. I did try, you know I did! But do you really expect me to want to jump back on the elliptical tomorrow when you've made it so )#$()*@) hard for me today? You think you're playing a sneaky trick on me, but really the trick is on you.

Excuse me while I write out a list of donuts to eat and TV to watch for tomorrow.