Pinterest is Against Me

It's truly unfair. I'm searching through pinterest, trying to stay motivated and positive, and it's giving me an onslaught of amazingly delicious desserts! Cinnamon roll cakes, cookies, pastries, even cheesecake looks good, and I hate all forms of cheesecake. 

Or is it my own fault for failing to search specific things and letting such bad stuff filter through my random search? No, it's much easier to blame pinterest for having it out to end my diet.

To be fair, it does have a lot of motivating stuff on there, too. Ok, maybe my eyes are gravitating toward those things more. I know I shouldn't have it, and it calls to me.

I did re-modify my search for fitness diet tips with better success of tempting treats flaunting at me. 

What it has to be about is the good stuff, and I don't mean in terms of taste. I have to fill my world with the healthy stuff, and keep focusing on more and more of it. That means ignoring those tempting photos of brownies and researching new ways to improve my diet and keep it varied so I don't get bored with dieting. Finding the food that will satisfy me in the same way brownies do. 

I know there's no hope for me & my cheese fry love. I cannot begin to find something to compare to that, and will have to find a way to work it into my diet. 

This latest journey I'm starting to really believe for the first time that I'm on the right track. Ok, it's only been a week. Maybe that's silly to say. But I've been eating cleaner for several months now, this past week just took it one step further.

This morning while checking my form on Plank in the mirror I noticed something. It's probably just my imagination, but the little belly pouch I've carried through all my dieting in years past looks a little smaller, a little flatter. At first I shook my head and talked myself down 'Stop it, it's only been a week, you're the exact same damn size you were last week.' 

Then a bell went off in my head- 'Hello idiot! You Need Motivation! Why not let yourself believe that little belly pouch is getting smaller?" I like that voice. It has a logic I don't want to argue with. So yay! I'm getting smaller!

In the end it's not about that. It's not about my stupid superficial insecurities. It's not about being the pretty girl. It's not about being perfect. It's about being a healthy me. If I have to use my own insecurities to get me there, I'll do it. But if I can build myself up on this path to health instead, all the better. 

I will be healthy someday. And today I feel like 'someday' is closer than ever before.