Diet Woes, Day Woman

If there is a man reading this, he's likely to check out here.

It's the beginning of Crazy Woman Week, as my husband has sometimes oh-so-sweetly called it. My monthly friend began its visit this morning.

Traditionally this has been where diets crash for me, and likely lots of other women. We're in pain, we're bloated, we're on edge, and we decide for all the other pains we go through, we deserve to treat ourselves to our favorite foods as reward. I'm telling myself today that it won't really be a reward; it will only revert any kind of progress I've begun toward creating better habits. I'm not believing it. It's not what I really want to hear. It sucks.

I'm so hungry today. I want to lick up the crumbs in my nature valley crunch bar to preserve every ounce of food I'm allowing myself. I cannot decide if it's really hunger or a huge desire to munch and snack. They feel the exact same today. 

I don't want to give in. Last night I tried a healthy meal for dinner, recommended by a friend:

Peanut Butter Acai Bowl-

1/2 cup of nut milk (I used almond)

3-4 dates (I used 4)

1 TBSP all natural peanut butter

1/2 packet of frozen Acai blend (I mis-read this and used an entire one)

1/2 Frozen Banana (I cut mine into small pieces before freezing)

It was pretty darn good. The 'attraction' to this is it tastes a lot like ice cream (reminded me of a Wendy's Frosty) only it's wonderfully healthy for you. Healthy it may be, filling it is not. I had half a Newman's cheese pizza in order to feel full an hour after I ate the above treat. Today I am in guilt city over the whole thing. 1900 calories; over 400 more than my max. I'm not working out for the next few days; how am I going to make up for that? Eat less today? I think not! I must just accept that it is what it is. I try to tell myself 'it's probably OK; 500 calories of what you ate is really good stuff', but I'm just not buying it.

That 1 shred of guilt is the only thing stopping me from marching over to the neighbor deli, ordering 2 servings of cheese quesadilla, and stuffing my face. Must. Be. Strong.

The search engine is my faithful companion anytime I'm questioning my actions or seeking strength. Some days it's more helpful than others, but even as a distraction it's always helpful to some degree. Today's search is "how to stay on diet while on period". A not-surprising number of women's magazine-esque sites pop up.

I'd like to pause for a Bitch-Fest moment. I HATE the overwhelming ads and pop-ups that delay today's websites, and that they only offer me 1 piece of content per page, forcing me to 'click through' to learn more and continue to be bogged down by freaking ads loading and pop-ups jumping into my face. Seriously. Stop it now. You're ruining the internet for everyone. Thank you.

Anyway, they all seem to agree on much the same thing; avoid sugar, caffeine, and stick to snacking on as healthy of stuff as you can.

Hard to eat a carrot and tell yourself it's better than chocolate. But I'm trying.

Afternoon Update:

I have come to the conclusion that it's not hunger, it's most definitely craving. I ate my less than satisfying, but filling, lunch. I stuffed myself with 20 baby carrots. I am full but I am unsatisfied. I am dying for some carbs. The most delicious things in the world to me right now are french fries and muffins. I am dying to bite into a fresh doughnut.

Here's hoping my potato dinner satisfies this craving, or tomorrow's going to be another long day.